Look behind the mask to better understand colleagues’ struggles

Over the past 18 years, I have worked hard to manage my mental health issues while building my career. I like to be open and honest, so that I can help raise awareness around mental health in the workplace, help others appreciate that they are not alone, and encourage them to be comfortable in their own skin.

I did not particularly like school. Exams are not really for me, which is difficult in an industry where gaining professional qualifications is expected – some of my colleagues have more letters after their name than I have in mine.

Nevertheless, I have always been proud to get stuck in and learn first-hand, both from my successes and failures.

Taking time out should not be frowned upon, nor should it be classed as weak. It takes courage to face your own demons

That said, the introduction of professional trustee exams as part of the accreditation process was a major challenge for me, but one I overcame. My learning has gone beyond the textbooks to an understanding that I can be different and also successful, in a style that works for me.

Power of words

However, there have been bumps in the road. You might recall the chant from childhood that ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me’.

Personally, I have found that the words of others can be very damaging — sometimes what is said directly, and at other times what is left unsaid. Words matter even more so from a position of seniority, where they can be hugely influential, and at times hugely damaging.

I have heard strong opinions against taking anti-depressants and taking time out, said with such conviction and from people respected in the pensions industry that those words carried real weight.

At a time where I was struggling with my mental health, this made me feel like I had somehow failed as a person, that I was weak for relying on medication and believing that work was not a good place for me at that time, despite the advice of a medical professional. The comments hurt me, not just mentally, but also physically, due to the withdrawal effects of not taking the medication.

Taking time out should not be frowned upon, nor should it be classed as weak. It takes courage to face your own demons.

Do not be scared to reach out to colleagues who may be off work with poor mental health — in all likelihood they will be pleased to hear from you and be comforted that you care. It may sound clichéd, but we really should treat mental health illness in the same way as we treat physical ailments.

I recall during a period of long-term sick leave with a previous employer, a colleague who was also absent for a shorter period of time following an operation, receiving a lovely bouquet of flowers in the post.

My flowers must have got lost. To add insult to injury, on my return to work structural changes had been made in my absence. The result was that another colleague had been promoted to a position ahead of me, despite, in my opinion, being less suitable or experienced. This made me feel that I was being punished for my illness.

Valued for being me

What have I learnt? That I should be proud of the person I am and what I have achieved. That I should no longer be embarrassed that I did not attend university. Or, that I need to manage my mental health carefully.

Instead, I reflect on the fact that I am now personally recommended and put forward for chair of trustee boards by individuals I have met only once. That they value me for my knowledge, my contribution and my collaborative approach. That I can manage my career and my mental health successfully.

I am proud to be the chair of our group’s mental health and wellbeing committee, which has rolled out a number of initiatives, before and during the pandemic, that have been used to support colleagues throughout this very challenging and often stressful time. From my own perspective, I know that this is an ongoing journey and not a quick fix.

We have all now become very accustomed to wearing masks, primarily to protect others, who in turn will protect us. Masks, of course, have more commonly been used to disguise or conceal.

As we return to normality and begin to remove our masks, perhaps it is time we looked more closely at friends and colleagues, some of whom may still be wearing a mask to hide their mental health struggles.

By looking behind the mask, we can develop a deeper understanding of the issues others are facing, and provide them with the support they need to overcome their challenges. Flowers also help!

Sarah Brennan is a professional trustee at Dalriada Trustees